8 signs you’re allowing your intrusive thoughts to run your life, says psychology (2025)

As a person, it’s crucial to be in control of our thoughts and emotions, to feel secure and competent in our daily lives.

However, in some instances, we may find ourselves overwhelmed by intrusive thoughts that can distort these feelings, leading to anxiety and self-doubt.

Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome, involuntary thoughts, images or unpleasant ideas that may become obsessions. They’re disturbing and can lead us to question our self-worth and abilities.

Let’s discuss the eight signs that you’re allowing these intrusive thoughts to run your life.

1) You’re constantly overthinking

Overthinking is more than just a bad habit, it can be an indication that you’re allowing intrusive thoughts to take over your life.

This isn’t just about pondering on big decisions or life-changing events. It’s about obsessing over every minor detail, every casual comment, every possible outcome.

Maybe you find yourself replaying conversations in your head, analyzing each word and tone for hidden meanings. Perhaps you’re losing sleep, worrying about tomorrow’s meeting or that small mistake you made weeks ago.

At times, you might even catch yourself thinking about a problem that doesn’t even exist yet, creating scenarios in your mind that are unlikely to happen.

This constant state of overthinking can be draining and can prevent you from enjoying the present moment. It can also lead to indecisiveness, as you get stuck in your cycle of thoughts and fears.

2) You’re avoiding situations due to fear

Fear is a powerful emotion that can protect us from harm, but when fear is driven by intrusive thoughts, it can limit our lives and keep us from experiencing new things.

For instance, you might find yourself avoiding certain places, people or situations because your mind has associated them with negative outcomes.

Maybe you’ve stopped going to crowded places because you’re afraid of catching a disease. Or perhaps you’re avoiding a friend because you’re worried they might be upset with you, even though there’s no real evidence to support this.

This avoidance behavior is not just about physical places or people. It can also be about avoiding certain topics or thoughts because they make you uncomfortable or anxious.

3) You’re seeking constant reassurance

We all need reassurance at times, it’s a part of being human. But when you find yourself constantly seeking validation or confirmation from others, it might be a sign that intrusive thoughts are ruling your life.

Maybe you’re asking your friends if they are sure they enjoyed the dinner you cooked, even after they’ve complimented you multiple times. Or perhaps you’re repeatedly checking with your boss if your work is satisfactory, despite their positive feedback.

This behavior might seem like it’s driven by a lack of self-confidence, but it’s more than that. It’s about trying to quiet those nagging, intrusive thoughts that tell you you’re not good enough, that you’ve done something wrong, or that people are just being nice to you out of pity.

The irony is, no amount of external validation can truly silence these thoughts. They can only be addressed by challenging and changing the way you think about yourself and your abilities.

4) You’re feeling emotionally exhausted

Let’s face it, intrusive thoughts can be a real energy drain. They can leave you feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted, even when you haven’t done anything physically strenuous.

You might find yourself tired all the time, struggling to focus or feeling burnt out. It’s like your mind is running a never-ending marathon, constantly chasing after these intrusive thoughts, trying to fix them or push them away.

This exhaustion isn’t just about feeling sleepy or needing a nap. It’s a deep sense of weariness that seeps into every aspect of your life.

You might feel disconnected from your loved ones, uninterested in your favorite hobbies, or just generally unenthusiastic about life.

5) You’re blaming yourself unnecessarily

Intrusive thoughts can often lead us down a path of self-blame and guilt, even when it’s clearly not warranted.

Perhaps you find yourself shouldering the blame for minor mishaps at work or at home, even when they were out of your control. Or maybe you’re plagued by guilt over past mistakes or perceived shortcomings, punishing yourself over and over again in your mind.

It’s crucial to remember, we all make mistakes. We’re human beings, not machines. It’s okay to mess up, to have flaws, and to not have everything figured out.

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Constant self-blame doesn’t help anyone – especially not you. It only feeds into the cycle of intrusive thoughts and self-doubt.

6) You’re constantly feeling on edge

8 signs you’re allowing your intrusive thoughts to run your life, says psychology (1)

Intrusive thoughts can keep your mind in a perpetual state of high alert, making you feel like you’re always on edge. It’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop, even when everything seems to be going fine.

Maybe you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is about to happen, no matter how well things are going. Or perhaps you’re constantly worried about making a mistake or disappointing someone, even when there’s no real cause for concern.

This constant state of worry and apprehension can be incredibly draining. It’s like carrying around a heavy backpack all the time, even when you’re just trying to enjoy a simple stroll in the park.

Remember, it’s okay to let go and relax sometimes. Life isn’t meant to be lived in a constant state of worry.

7) You’re over-planning everything

There is nothing wrong with a good plan. It can help us stay organized, manage our time efficiently, and reduce stress. But when you find yourself planning and re-planning every minute detail, it might be your intrusive thoughts playing puppeteer.

You might find yourself spending hours on tasks that should only take a few minutes, just to make sure everything is perfect. Maybe you’re double-checking and triple-checking your work, worried about missing some imaginary error.

While it might seem like you’re just being thorough, this excessive planning can actually be a way of trying to control the uncontrollable and calm those intrusive thoughts.

Life is full of surprises, and that’s part of the fun! Permitting yourself to loosen up a bit could be a huge step in taking back control from those pesky thoughts.

8) You’re neglecting your own needs

Sometimes in the midst of battling intrusive thoughts, you might find that you’re forgetting the most important person – you.

Perhaps you’re skipping meals because you’re too wrapped up in your thoughts to feel hungry. Or maybe you’re missing out on sleep because your mind won’t quiet down.

You might even be neglecting your hobbies or passions, because you’re too busy wrestling with your worries.

This is not okay.

Your needs matter. Your health matters. Your happiness matters. Don’t let these intrusive thoughts trick you into thinking otherwise.

It’s time to put yourself first. Start prioritizing self-care, whether it’s taking time for a relaxing bath, enjoying a good book, or just getting a good night’s sleep. You deserve to take care of yourself, regardless of what those intrusive thoughts might tell you.

Final thoughts

If you recognize these signs in your life, remember, you’re not alone. Dealing with intrusive thoughts can be challenging, but acknowledging them is already a big step towards reclaiming control over your life.

Clinical psychologist Dr. David Burns once said, “You feel the way you think.” This simple statement underlines the powerful effect our thoughts can have on our emotions and behaviours.

When it comes to intrusive thoughts, it’s essential to remember that they are just that – thoughts. They are not facts, they do not define you, and most importantly, you have the power to change them.

Learning to manage intrusive thoughts often involves learning new coping strategies, which may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness techniques or even medication in some cases. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you feel overwhelmed.

Reflect on your own experiences and consider whether these signs resonate with you.

If they do, take it as an invitation to start prioritizing your mental health and seek help if needed. You deserve to live a life that’s not ruled by your thoughts.

Remember, change is possible and it’s never too late to start.

You have the power within you to take back control from these intrusive thoughts and live a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

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8 signs you’re allowing your intrusive thoughts to run your life, says psychology (2025)
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